Like Barry Bonds, Baseball Widow hasn't retired; she's just not playing.
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Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Songs in the Key of AA Minor League

Baseball Widow finally made it to her first Tennessee Smokies game of the season, and it was thoroughly enjoyable--especially since she was able to see her favorite minor league player, Papo Bolivar.

Baseball Widow first made Papo's acquaintance last year, and she was thrilled to discover he's still with the Smokies. (Okay, so that's not really a good sign for his career, but this is about me.) I'm not exactly sure why I like Papo so much, but I think it has something to do with the fact that his name sounds like "pop-up," and that's what he usually hits--four of them last Friday night.

Papo's at-bat music is a jazzy Latin tune that I haven't identified which consists of the lyrics "uh-oh." Funny on two counts. One, rhymes with Papo. Two, reflects his batting average. Baseball Widow also thinks that Beyonce's "Crazy in Love" would suit him well. Maybe in the majors, if he ever gets the call. (Even Grammar Gods use sentence fragments.)

In honor of Papo, Baseball Widow presents the top five songs she would like to hear as at-bat music.

1. "Mr. Excitement" by They Might Be Giants. If Baseball Widow ever plays professional baseball, this would be her choice. A close second would be another TMBG tune, "Wicked Little Critter."

2. "Endless Love" or "I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight"
Any player, any time. Pure laughs.

3. I'll pay someone to sneak into Shea and play "Natural Woman" when Piazza walks to the plate. This isn't related to the persistent rumors over his sexuality--it's more about his bleach job. I just can't get over it.

4. For Nomar Garciaparra, "Bohemian Rhapsody" or "Innagoddadavita" or perhaps Beethoven's Fifth--I don't think any of them are long enough to cover his pre-bat rituals.

5. "I Wish I Was a Girl (Going out with a Boy Like Me)" A great one by Australian group King Curly, and one Baseball Widow thinks is perfectly suited for Derek Bell.

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