A Moveable Feast

Baseball season is nigh, and if Baseball Widow wants to wiggle her way into those opening-day capris, she's gotta diet. That means, of course, that Baseball Widow has spent a lot of time recently contemplating food. Here's Baseball Widow's take on "If he were a food, he would be. . ."


Chipper Jones:
Caviar--You either love it or hate it, but, either way, you recognize its quality.

Julio Franco:
Wine--Just gets better with age.

Andruw Jones:
Mac n' Cheese--This comfort food is probably a little carb-heavy, but it gets the job done and gets it done well.

Johnny Damon:
Hummus--It's little out there, but try it; you'll like it.

Reggie Sanders:
Ramen Noodles--Cheap, and will do in a pinch. We've all gone through our Ramen phase.

Barry Bonds:
Powerbar--Too much nutrition in there all at once; makes me wary.

Brian Jordan:
Twinkie--You loved it as a kid, but now that you're grown up, you know one is one too many.

Greg Maddux:
Prunes--Your Grandma's favorite for respectfulness and dependability.

A-Rod:
T-Bone Steak--The most expensive thing on the menu, but worth the price every time.

Randy Johnson:
Devils' Food Cake--or, is he just the devil?

Chone Figgins:
Salad--Good for you, and too much is never enough.

Javy Lopez:
Cheesecake (sigh).

Marcus and Brian Giles:
Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream--You know that Ben does the heavy lifting, but Jerry is just so cute. Just don't ask Baseball Widow which one is which.

Jeff Kent:
Liver--Lots of good stuff here, just not sure I want it on my plate.

Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz:
Bangers and Mash--Just because it's a good nickname.

Coco Crisp:
Baseball Widow is stumped; nothing really comes to mind.