Like Barry Bonds, Baseball Widow hasn't retired; she's just not playing.
Enjoy the archives. . .

Sunday, March 28, 2004

Baseball Hubby's Hubba Hubbas

After long delay (and much anticipation, I’m sure) Baseball Hubby is getting into the act. This endeavor was essentially started as a means for me to have my own blog without having to do any work. All I needed to do was talk to my wife about baseball (like I do anyway) and let her craft it into coherent, even entertaining, posts. It was a beautiful thing.

Now here I am, drawn into her widow’s web. I’ve been called upon to provide an analysis of her team, the fairest squad of ballplayers around, The Eye-Candies. How did I get involved in this thinly-veiled excuse to treat athletes as objects? Well, believe it or not it was my idea. Inspired in part by Bill James’s wife’s analysis of the best and worst looking players of each decade in his Historical Baseball Abstract, this was another attempt to interest my wife in the game. Little did I know how interested she would become. At the very least, I thought, it would be a good excuse (should the opportunity ever arise) for me to create a fantasy team of swimsuit models (and if such things could be statistically analyzed it would make for a popular roto league).

Lo and behold, The Widow has asked me to compile a list of my adolescent TV crushes in response to Seth Stohs'. So without further ado, let’s reminisce about some oh-so-crushworthy TV ladies.

Marina Sirtis, Star Trek: The Next Generation: I have seen the future and it is beautiful. Is there a swimsuit competition for entry into the Starfleet academy, because there isn’t a bad looking Trek lady. Marina Sirtis, with her exotic Betazoid looks, tops my list. The only drawback to Counselor Troi? She can read all those naughty thoughts in your head.
Alyson Hannigan, Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The character Willow fills the cute-best-friend-lesbian-witch category that every little boy must have a crush on. Ok, so I wasn’t a little boy so much as a grown adult when I developed a crush on her. Her famous line about band camp from American Pie boosts her on this list.
Tiffany Theissen, Saved By the Bell: This is a conventional pick, yes, but for very good reasons. Just as the Widow will always have a place in her heart for Zach, I’ll always remember Kelly.
Judith Light, Who’s the Boss: Everybody and his brother had a crush on the young Alissa Milano, but for some reason I always preferred her elder co-star. Not even the horrid fashions of the 1980s (like those gigantic glasses and shoulder pads she always wore) could dim this light.
Brittany (of the Chipettes), Alvin and the Chipmunks: If it’s wrong to love a cartoon chipmunk I don’t want to be right.

And that's my top five. Watch for the Hubby to return with some numerical wizardry as I give the Eye-Candies a statistical onceover.

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